Dec 29

Born on a cold Chicago morning in early February, Big League Stew was the third blog to pop out of that magical YSB-chute. Now, after 11 months spent simmering, we look back at a year of ingredient gathering that took us from the spring sunshine of Florida and Arizona to the midtown madness of the All-Star Game to an October World Series in Philadelphia that featured end of days weather to close out our first full season. It was a fun year, to be sure, and thankfully another one is fast approaching. Whether you believe it or not, we’ll be uttering those spine-tingling words about pitchers and catchers before we know it.

Until then, your main Stewards — David Brown, Nick Friedell and myself — would like to thank you for your continued readership with a review of the year that was on the l’il baseball blog we’re proud to call home. Happy New Year, everyone.

Big League Stew’s Story of the Year The Tampa Bay Rays take baseball and the baseball blogging world by storm

Coming into this gig, I knew that the Yankees and Cubs of the world would be the go-to teams when it came to blogging about baseball. What I couldn’t have anticipated was just how much we’d end up writing about a previously anonymous floormat from Florida.

Throughout their entire transformation from early-season curiosities to American League champions, the Rays were the pleasant surprises who brought us more blogworthy material than we could have ever expected. Their rise started during spring training, when they battled the Yankees, it continued during a debate over whether or not they should add Barry Bonds and then survived an explosion of hype that included no less than 267 tribute songs recorded in the Bay area by emerging "artists."

Meanwhile, the team’s manager searched the European continent for Rays fans, its head cheerleader swigged beer from the catcher’s athletic supporter and the Rookie of the Year third baseman said he was tired of being linked to pictures of a desperate housewife in almost every glass of Dave Brown’s Morning Juice. (He also said the first baseman didn’t seem that Dominican, which led to the Stew playing a role in its very first mini-controversy, even if it only played out on ESPN Deportes.)

Anyway, when the rising Rays were rewarded with things like out-of-control ALCS celebrations and salutes from strip clubs, it brought a little tear to our eye. Our little baby was all growed up and we no longer find it strange that the Rays occupy a large portion of our daily thoughts. May the new year bring them — and, by extension, us — more of the same. 

Honorable mentions: The Phillies became World (Deleted) Champions!; The saga of Jason Giambi’s mustache entertained a nation; Joba Chamberlain impersonation proved to be a profitable career; Mrs. Clemens and Mrs. Canseco compared boob jobs; We said goodbye to Yankee Stadium Shea Stadium, too; Nick Friedell told a good story about Brandon "Taco" Phillips; The Cubs’ drought odometer hit triple digits; Some guy named Manny Ramirez caused a bit of a stir in Boston and Los Angeles; The beatification proceedings for Josh Hamilton began

* * *

Best BLS video of the year — The Anti-Hip Bump Revolution

After writing the post that made me Public Enemy #1 to at least 3,000 unamused and unmoved Yahooligans, I took my courageous fight to ban the deadly hip bump to baseball’s All-Stars themselves. To their credit, Ryan Braun, Nate McLouth and Milton Bradley understood the tongue-in-cheek nature of my crusade and happily joined in the fun. Michael Young and Grady Sizemore, though? Unamused and unmoved, as well.

Honorable mention — The Road Trip That Made Milwaukee Famous

Back in July, the Stew traveled on an Independence Day weekend junket across the Illinois-Wisconsin border, complete with plenty of knockwurst, Gorman Thomas bobbleheads and REO Speedwagon tunes on the playlist. The six-minute featurette shown below is the net result. (Please pay special attention to the prophet young man predicting the acquisition of CC Sabathia just three days before the fat man showed up to lead the Brewers to their first postseason since ‘82.) 

Other videos the Stew savored: Mariah Carey threw out the worst first pitch in history; I compiled an "Orel" History of the Dodgers’ Baseball Boogie; The ‘81 Dodgers sang "We Are The Champions"; Noted Phillies fan taught us all how to love; ORIOLES MAGIC!

* * *

The Best of BLS Satire and Mischief — Why the Kansas City Royals shouldn’t sign Barry Bonds

Regular Stewies know that our crew is usually located somewhere between drunk circus clowns and gassy newborns when it comes to being serious. That type of approach can make for some entertaining passages, the best of which came in this end-of-days-prediction from guest writer Baron Von Snakin during our Barry Bonds Job Watch series.   

"Here’s how it goes: The Royals sign Bonds (probably for a case of Wal-Mart gift cards). People are intrigued, and Kauffman Stadium fills past half-capacity. Lines begin to form for beer, barbecue, and the bathroom. Fans get cranky. Prices go up. Fans get crankier. Some jackass sneaks a kayak into the right field fountain, hoping to fish out a piece of history. Said jackass is electrocuted and every second of the gruesome affair is displayed on the world’s largest HD scoreboard. Every child in the stadium is traumatized by the remarkably clear image and pungent aroma of boiling flesh. Fueled by the trauma, these children immediately grow into confused, angry adults, afraid of water and kayaks and cotton candy. They form violent street gangs, borders dissolve, and our once peaceful region settles into a constant state of war … And that’s just the first week."

Honorable mentions: ‘Duk proposed World Series move to Wrigley Field; DB detailed 10 things that CC Sabathia and Derek Jeter may have talked about

* * *

The Best of Baseball Media

It can be argued that we wouldn’t even have baseball blogs were it not for the goofs and gaffes of the TV folks who cover the daily grind. Here are a few of our favorite quotes that found a space on the Stew this year.

Rick Sutcliffe on Erin Andrews’ wardrobe selection: "Well, I’m more worried about Erin, than I was me. Wearing that skirt tonight in the Windy City? You think all eyes weren’t on her during batting practice?"

Reds’ announcer Franchester Brennaman on Cubs fans: "There are balls coming from all over the place. Left field, center field, right field. … See, this is the kind of thing, quite honestly right now, that makes you want to see this Chicago Cubs team lose. .. [F]ar and away, the most obnoxious fans in baseball, in this league, are those who follow this team right here. … You simply root against them. I’ve said all winter — they talk about this team winning the division — and my comment is, they won’t win it because, at the end of the day, they still are the Chicago Cubs, and they will figure out a way to screw this whole thing up."

Jeff Kent on legendary Dodgers’ announcer Vin Scully: "Vin Scully talks too much … I’ve been here four years and I have never seen Vin Scully down here in the clubhouse. How does Vin Scully know me? How does Vin Scully know Derek Lowe?"

TBS exec Jeff Gregor on FrankTV ads: "This is just a hypothesis on my side: You think there are a lot of (FrankTV) spots, but there’s actually not as many as you think," Gregor said. "They’re just so good at entertaining and engaging that when they come on you feel like you just saw one not too long ago."

Honorable sports media mentions: Dennis Eckersley hates when you call his haircut a mullet; Hawk Harrelson blames White Sox woes in Metrodome on sound waves; YES Network reminds Terry Crowley he’s still lucky to be in "bleepin" baseball; Mike Blowers puts the Curse of the Rally Fries upon the Mariners

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BLS listicle of the year The Dick Trickle All-Stars: Baseball players with NASCAR names

If we learned anything in creating a 44-driver lineup for our inaugural Hank Aaron 755, it was that some people just don’t have a sense of humor and/or irony. I mean, if you can’t crack a smile when imagining Buddy Carlyle or Aaron Boone trading a cap for a helmet and running behind 750 horses while wearing eye black and a pair of cleats …

Honorable mentions: Derek Jeter did his best Tony Stark impression, dating 6 of Maxim’s Hot 100; Jon Lester pitched a no-no and joined our list of baseball’s All-Star cancer survivors a.k.a. "The John Kruk All-Stars"; Chas. Hustle and Ray Fosse beat out ol’ Teddy Ballgame in our Most Memorable Memory: ASG Edition tourney; Alfonso Soriano’s bunnyhop business puts him in line to join the list of the stupidest on-field injuries in sports history 

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The Best of Fashion Ump

From the gruesome ("Cleric" Gagne’s beard and Giambi’s golden thong) to the offensive (Chief Wahoo in stars-n-stripes and Wrigleyville’s ‘Horry Kow’ shirts) to the simply awesome (Elmer Fudd caps and Toronto’s powder blues), Fashion Ump was always there to offer a ruling. 

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The Best of Answer Man

After braving the periils of the clubhouse to find out the answers to our most pressing questions — Has Cole Hamels ever smoked a cigarette? Does CC Sabathia ever read The Onion? — our own Dave Brown produced some of the Stew’s best journalism with his unparalleled Answer Man sessions. A detailed rundown of his most memorable run-ins and exchanges can be found in his just-published Best of Answer Man post.   

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The Best of BLS photoshoppin’ — The BLS Postseason Bid Acceptance Speech series

Nov 10


For those wagering on MLB rookie of the year props, Tampa Bay Rays 3B Evan Longoira and Chicago Cubs C Geovany Soto won the AL and NL awards respectively.

Nov 06

Joe Maddon’s going and getting himself married this weekend. No word if Evan Longoria will reprise Vince Vaughn’s role, but Maddon and his wife are definitely headed for a European vacation after all is said and done. And at this week’s GM meetings, Maddon said his No. 1 goal of the journey would be to find at least one Rays fan walking around across the pond.   

From the Associated Press:

"I’m hoping to be recognized in Europe, because that would truly indicate that the Tampa Bay Rays have arrived on the continent," the 54-year-old Maddon said. "That was one of my goals prior to the season."

Maddon said he would love to place a Rays cap on the head of the statue of David.

"My main objective is to see somebody wearing Rays gear," he said. "So in one of those places, I want to see somebody wearing some form of it. And I shall take a photograph. I’ll ask that person to pose."

As an early wedding present, I’ve taken the liberty of creating a possible meetup with Rays fans over in Florence. Here’s wishing Maddon the best of luck — both with his second marriage and that search for the Rays fan. For the latter, he’s going to need plenty of it. 

Speaking of the weekend, I’m going to ‘Duk out early on this week for a little extended rest. So see ya either next Monday or when Ned Colletti finally loses it and offers Manny Ramirez a contract involving eight figures. Whichever comes first.  

Nov 05


Because of a combination of maturing young players, shrewd moves by the front office and deft managing by Joe Maddon, the Tampa Bay Rays leaped from having Major League Baseball’s worst record in 2007 to the World Series a season later.

But what about the worst team in the majors this past season? Can the Washington Nationals make a similar way for themselves in ‘09? Most baseball experts probably would say no way. However, D.C. could take steps to emerge from 100-plus defeat, injury riddled, embarrassing baseball.

Here are 10 ways the Nats can become the next Rays — or something like that:

10. Be firm and tell Elijah Dukes "no" to the unlimited threatening texts and free explicit video plan he wants for his mobile phone.

9. Tough love in ‘09: No disabled list.

8. One exception: List oft-oft-injured Nick Johnson out for the season, thanks to mysterious turkey poisoning at Thanksgiving, thus clearing roster space for Mark Teixeira

7. Have bugs installed in the visitor’s clubhouse by former Sec.
of State (and big Nats fan) Henry Kissinger as they can pay off
big-time. 

6. Even though his name suggests he’ll spend several dates performing at the Kennedy Center with Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras, second baseman Emilio Bonifacio must put his dream of becoming a NL All-Star before his dream of becoming one of The Three Tenors.

5. Protect brittle superstar third baseman Ryan Zimmerman this off-season by encasing him entirely in Nerf.

4. Nix harebrained scheme of GM Jim Bowden to pick up "Devil" nickname on waivers from Tampa and transform "Nationals" to "Devil Gnats."

3. Sit down outfielder Austin Kearns, tell him that he should have been a country singer as his name obviously suggests, kick him out the door, and sign Adam Dunn to play left.

2. Stan Kasten out, Dick Cheney in, as team president.

1. Prevent the exotic Japanese artist that staff ace John Lannan has been dating from breaking up the starting rotation.

Oct 30


When appropriate, BLS reviews key decisions to see if the right one was made. This is the Second-Guess.

The Turning Point: After the Philadelphia Phillies beat the Tampa Bay Rays 4-3 in Game 5 on Wednesday night, select media voted left-hander Cole Hamels the World Series MVP.

The Question: Instead, should they have given the trophy to outfielder Jayson Werth, who seemed instrumental in most of Philly’s offensive rallies?

Argument for Werth: Virtually ignored in a lineup surrounded by names such as Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Jimmy Rollins, Pat Burrell and Shane Victorino — even catcher Carlos Ruiz got more pub — Werth was the engine that made the Phillies offense go. From the No. 2 spot, Werth batted .444/.583/.778, all team highs, as were his six walks and three stolen bases (tying with Utley). Werth scored four runs (one fewer than Utley) and drove in three runs (less impressive than Howard’s six RBIs) but he also had two productive outs. And twice, in Games 1 and 5, Werth walked and scored in the first inning to help the Phillies build quick 2-0 leads. He also walked ahead of Howard’s three-run homer in the fourth inning of Game 4 and added a two-run homer in the sixth to pad the Phillies lead.

Argument against Werth: His performance in Game 2 was abysmal, practically costing the Phillies the loss all by himself. His error in right field set up the Rays to score a pair of runs on grounders in the first inning, putting the Phillies in a quick hole. At bat, he ran into a double play on Utley’s liner in the fifth, he struck out with a runner at third base and less than two outs, and he also struck out with a runner at second. In the bottom of the eighth of Game 3 with a tie score, he was picked off second base by J.P. Howell with Utley and Howard coming up.

Their say:

 "I’m an aggressive player. Maybe at times too aggressive. I made aggressive mistakes. We got hurt a little by them, but that’s also why we were in this position, to win a championship."
Werth

"I definitely felt like I was in the middle of everything. Everything good. Everything bad. It seemed like I couldn’t get out of the way." — Werth

"I know people will look at me differently, expect probably more out of me." — Hamels

"I’m even more excited for that guy who’s holding the MVP trophy. He deserves it. He’s the ace.
Jamie Moyer

Big League Stew’s Verdict — the right guy won the car: Werth’s miserable Game 2 ruined his chances. Werth wasn’t even an everyday player until the second week of August, but Charlie Manuel made the right move, both in putting him in the lineup and batting him second. Werth had a great, great Series and would be an even stronger MVP candidate if he had just been neutral in Game 2. Hamels-for-MVP was part of the scuttlebutt during the suspension of Game 5, to the point that it probably was taken for granted he would win. Hamels, after all, was 3 1/2 innings from becoming the first pitcher to go 5-0 in the postseason. He didn’t get his fifth victory, but his stats (1-0, 2.77 ERA, 13 IP, 3 BB, 8 K) are MVP-worthy. His performance in Game 1, especially, helped set the Series tone.