There’s
a movement out there to try to get Mike Ditka
in the Illinois governor’s office in place of current enterprising governor
Rod Blagojevich.

Ditka’s qualifications, of course, are many. He’s got a career record of
121-95 as a head coach in the NFL. He seems like a fair-minded guy. He was
strongly considered as a candidate to run against Barack Obama for a U.S. Senate
seat in 2004. He’s got a fantastic mustache. From what I can tell, he’s fluent
in two languages, English and Emmitt.
And if it came to it, he could probably afford to buy the spot. I heard that
happens sometimes in Illinois.

The website, dagoverner.com, has this
message:

We da people of Illinois are sick and tired of scumbag politicians who think dat it’s their job to lie, cheat and steal. No more! We deserve somebody in charge who we can trust. Somebody who we can depend on. Somebody who we know understands the difference between right and wrong and won’t be afraid to kick corruption in the ass harder than da ‘85 Bears beat down da Patriots in da Super Bowl! 

Dat’s right, my friends. Da man for da job is Coach Ditka. So let’s make it happen! Ditka for Governor!!

It also has a lot of "Ditka for Governor" merchandise for sale.
It’s probably worth noting that Ditka’s said nothing himself about wanting to be
governor, and isn’t thought to be a serious candidate. Given that, one might
think that the primary purpose of the website would be to sell merchandise. But
I don’t think anyone would ever use the internet in a less-than-honest way.

Gracias, Critical
Fanatic.

Yahoo! Sports sluggers Jeff Passan, along with Gordon Edes and Tim Brown, are reporting that the Jake Peavy-to-the-Cubs trade might be just one detail from actually happening. It certainly will have been worth the decade-long wait when it does come down. In the meantime, one has to wonder exactly what else caused the delay for Cubs general manager Jim Hendry and Padres’ GM Kevin Towers? As the following speculative list suggests, pulling off a big deal at MLB’s Winter Meetings is harder than just swapping some names. Here are the hidden hang-ups in the Peavy deal:

10. EMTs struggling to keep the EKG leads hooked up to Hendry’s chest

9. Complicated multi-team transaction gets bogged down even more when Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich insists on throwing Barack Obama’s vacant U.S. Senate seat into the deal.

8. Can’t pull Towers away from Bette Midler show at Caesars long enough to take a dang phone call.

7. An avid rifleman, Peavy refuses to stop picking off Vegas showgirls he confuses for "peacocks," and it’s really piling up the bodies for the CSI guys.

6. Cubs signing of ancient right-hander Chad Fox to a minor-league contract satisfies Hendry’s "roster-move Jones" for December.

5. Padres cost-slashing plan includes going without outfield in ‘09, which might save enough money for club to keep Peavy after all.

4. As a non-emancipated adult subject to parental visitation rights under
whack divorce laws in California, Peavy is a sad pawn
in the messy breakup of Pads owners John and Becky Moores.

3. Hendry solemnly waiting for the Sabathia drama to play out, not because it affects Peavy but because "it will really #&@%$-up my fantasy team if CC stays in the National League."

2. If acting MLB Commissioner-in-Vegas Wayne Newton gives a thumbs down to a deal, then sorry, buddy, that’s the way it goes.

1. Sandberg dunked Durham’s mitt in Gatorade — wait, that’s how the Cubs blew the ‘84 NLCS.

The feds arrested Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich on Tuesday morning, allegedly for trying to sell the state’s open U.S. Senate seat (Barack Obama doesn’t need it anymore) and other crimes.

Further, the Chicago Tribune reports in an awkward pdf. file that Blago’s rap sheet of allegedly "staggering" inappropriate actions are all over the Tribune Co.’s attempt to sell the Chicago Cubs.

In short, G-Men say that intercepted phone calls allegedly show that Illinois’ embattled governor directed his chief of staff to tell interim Cubs owner Sam Zell that the state would not help him avoid $100 million in capital gains taxes unless he fired certain Tribune Co. board members who have been critical to Blagojevich in editorials in the Trib.

What kind of Cubs fan does Blagojevich think he is? Trying to extort from his own team (allegedly)!

Does this mean Zell, too, is in federal trouble somehow?

If so, how will this affect the Cubs sale?

And, most importantly, what about the Jake Peavy trade?

Note: Blagojevich is the second consecutive Illinois governor to have been arrested. If Blago is not convicted, his hair certainly will be.

I, for one, am tired of taking things so seriously on this website, and I yearn
to get back to simpler times, when I occasionally said things that were less
than 100% serious, and then you all accused me of being a poor journalist.
Everyone was happier that way.

With that goal in mind, here’s Jon Stewart’s tremendous take on the recent
incidents involving Plaxico Burress. I hope it lightens the mood around here.

Such an unfortunate song to be playing just at that moment. Poor Plax can’t
catch a break.

We really hope President-Elect Barack Obama was serious when he said he would try to change the Bowl Championship Series.

The latest BCS rankings are out and controversy reigns.

The Texas Longhorns, Oklahoma Sooners and Texas Tech Red Raiders all have 11-1 records but since Oklahoma was ranked No. 2 in the BCS, it will play for the Big 12 title against Missouri.

Texas beat both the Sooners and Raiders this year.